Living with my Husband

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Living with my Husband

Postby STABAC » Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:39 am

MY NAME IS SUSAN GROSS, AND I AM FRANK GROSS'S WIFE. i DO NOT POST OFTEN, BUT I FINALLY FEEL THAT IT IS MY TIME TO TELL YOU WHAT HE HAS BEEN THROUGH, AND AS A RESULT MY FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS IS CLOSE TO BEING UNBEARABLE. i HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A VERY PATRIOTIC PERSON BUT I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE DVA, AND THEIR UNBELIEVABLE LACK OF SUPPORT TO OUR VIETNAM VETS. FRANK HAS TOLD ME OF HIS EXPOSURE TO AGENT ORANGE, HE COULD SEE THE CLOUD OF AGENT ORANGE ALONG WITH THE MIST AS THEY SPRAYED. HE WAS WITHOUT A DOUBT EXPOSED TO THIS AO. i WAS WITH HIM IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM WHEN HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DIABETES. AS A REGISTERED NURSE I WAS DEVASTATED BECAUSE I KNEW WHAT WAS AHEAD OF HIM AND US, AS FAR AS PREVENTING HIM FROM THE MULTIPED OF SERIOUS RESULTS OF HAVING THIS DISEASE.IN SPITE OF TAKING MANY MEDS. AND WATCHING HIS DIET AND EXCERSIZE, HE CANNOT CONTROL THIS "FORM OF DIABETES". HE HAS HAD TO ENDURE A TRIPLE BYPASS AND HAS HAD TO HAVE 7 STENTS INSERTED TO KEEP HIS "CLOGGED ARTERIES OPEN". HIS QUALITY OF LIFE IS POOR, AND ALL HE IS ASKING FOR IS WHAT HE HAS EARNED, AND RIGHTFULLY INTITLED TO. i AM SO DISAPPOINTED AND ASHAMED OF THE TREATMENT OUR VIETNAM VETS HAVE RECIEVED. TO SUM IT ALL UP ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS "SHAME ON THE DVA AS HOW THEY HAVE TREATED AND CARED FOR OUR "HERO'S OF THE VIETNAM WAR!"
COMMENTS FROM ANY OTHER WIVES?
SUE
Words of Wisdom From, Of All People, "Rambo" "What Do I Want?! I Want The Same Thing All The Guys Who Went Over There And Spilled Their Blood; For My Country To Love Me As Much As I Love Her."
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Re: Living with my Husband

Postby david » Sat Mar 14, 2009 3:00 pm

This article hits me in the gut!!! Sue you and Frank are special friends and my family prays for yall because i take a long list of meds like Frank does as well. I wish I had something but just a long line of Bla Bla for you. I believe these people will not prevail and we will ultimately win the day. It breaks my heart to read this but we all live it day to day...david.
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Re: Living with my Husband

Postby LLOYD GRANAAS » Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:31 pm

Susan:
For what it is worth,you our not a lone. I to have gone thru a lot to. I was shocked to find out after after I had a stent put in that I had,a heart attack. I have night mears and don't remeber.I have all the clasic agent orange systems to. There are no words that any one can tell you to make it better,or go away. My wife has stayed with me thru it all, and we have a long way to go yet.Stay strong and keep trying. I for one will not,they will have to pry this key board from my fingers before I quite, or stop to help a fellow Blue Water Member.
Frank,you old snipe, I know what we whent thur in those all engine rooms,if you made it out of those engine rooms,the rest is a cake walk. If you want to talk or need help just drop me a line or any other member we our there for you.
Lloyd granaas MM2/USN Blue water
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Re: Living with my Husband

Postby jcovington6 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:33 pm

Bless you Sue, I know it is hard to watch what is happening to your husband. I was diagnosed a diabetic in 1993, Type II. Since that time I have had one 5-bypass heart surgery, preceded by a couple of heart attacks, Now I have High BP and a rapid heart beat, not to mention the other diseases that come with those problems. I started taking one pill a day for my diabetes now I take insulin shots up to 3 times a day and it is still hard to control. I have a hard time walking because of my diabetes and the back injury I suffered while in the Navy, yet it was ruled non-SC, still battling that one. I can't really keep a job because of my health but I have to do something. My wife had a stroke about 2 years ago and she has a hard time working. I know that one of these days, things are going to workout for the best, either here on earth or in Gods way. Until then I just go on as best I can. OH well, enough of the self pity on my part. Frank you hang in there and know one thing for sure, Your married way above yourself my friend, as I did. Good Luck!
Joe, USN, VF-151, CAG-5, CVA-41

Vietnam War Veteran, '71-'73, Lifetime Member of Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club, Member Bluewater Navy '70 - '74, Shellback '72.

I have lived the legacy of my military service to my country, Abuse, Disrespect, and Denial.


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Re: Living with my Husband

Postby Marcella » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:47 pm

Sue,
I am a wife of a Vietnam Veteran who is a member of what the VA designates as BLUE WATER NAVY. Now I can tell you I know exactly what is happening and feel the same disgust as you do for the VA for the way my husband is being treated. Carl served on the USS BOSTON and it was in Da Nang Harbor 2 times in 1967. He went on shore. BUT the VA wants him to prove it. HOW??? there is no way...all his buddys he was out with are not able to be found. Carl has high blood pressure and diabetes. It was controlled for awhile by meds and diet. IT has progressed to shots and still out of control. His doctor at the VA medical center has left and a new one is expected in. I plan to talk to the dr about a more aggressive strategy than a test 2 x a day. In 2004 Carl had an aggressive meningioma removed from his left opcipital lobe. This thing had grown roots into the brain tissue itself, a rare effect his dr at the Mayo told us. We both lost our jobs in the same year several months after his surgery. He was still under DR's care and could not work. We collected unemployment for awhile and I looked for a job, but I got sick. Carl got on Social Security Disability and a year later I did too. Believe me it is less than what we were used to. We have lost our home, in debt up to our eyeballs and will probably never get medical bills paid. ... but we persevere.

Carl has to use the VA medical services but I must say they treat him fairly well and I stay on top of things with them.

We have had our claim in since 2004. We had an appeal for it in June 07 - still have heard nothing except HAAS. NOw that they are starting to process things, expect his claim to be denied. But will appeal it again.

Please don't give up and it is totally acceptable to be PO'd at the VA. I know I stay that way. We are here and you can post anytime you want. Register your own name or just use Frank's. By the way, I'm the one that keeps him and Ken under control :lol: here.

You can email me any time. Frank has the addy!

Marcie

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Re: Living with my Husband

Postby Bill Fryday » Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:05 pm

Hello Susan,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. We all understand how you feel. Welcome to the Blue Water Navy forum.

My name is Cindy Fryday and I am also a wife of a Blue Water Navy Veteran. We have been living our own kind of hell like many other veterans and their families. My husband has Type 2 diabetes and many of the diabetes related disabilities. He has had carotid artery blockages and several blockages and operations on his leg until finally nothing else could be done but amputate. I must tell you that all we have been through he has been my rock. His optimism after his leg surgery was overwhelming. He had two options: it was to lose his leg and live as an amputee or die from the gangrene. Prior to his surgery his pain was excrutiating. After he had his leg ampuated he used a borrowed power chair for awhile so he could get around. We asked the VA if they would authorize a new power chair. They gave him a choice of a power chair or a leg prosthesis. He chose the prostheseis so he wouldn't be in a chair for the rest of his life. After I thought about the mobilty choices the VA gave him, it made sense to me. If he had a power chair then he might rely on it instead of using his prosthesis. We do have a wheelchair and walkers in case he needs them. He has had a prosthesis now for almost 3 years, but he can't work. He takes it day by day with still an optimism that I'm not sure that I would have if I were an amputee. The prosthesis is good because he is not confined to a chair, but it can be rough because he can't do what he used to be able to do. He can't walk very far because of the prosthesis and sometimes his balance is off, but he can sure weed eat the fence line while riding on his golf cart like nobody's business. The prosthesis sometimes hurts him and is uncomfortable, but he keeps on going. What an inspiration he has been to me and the rest of our family!!!

My husband is treated at the VA and they provide good care to him. We go to Overton Brooks V.A. Medical Center and the Prosthetic Center in Shreveport, LA. It is about 2 hours from our home in Louisiana.

We have had an Agent Orange claim in since August 2005. Still no decision. Of course, his claim got caught up in the Haas stay. We are upset and at times feel so helpless against the DVA. But we keep plugging away.

The members of this forum have a common goal and that is to get service connection to Agent Orange for the Blue Water Navy Veterans and other military personnel who were exposed to it. Of course, there are other issues that come up and we deal with those too.

It is a disgrace the way our Vietnam Veterans have been treated, especially the Blue Water Navy Veterans. We have to change the mindset of the VA through legislation so our Veterans can finally get the respect and the recognition they deserve. Our Vietnam Veterans deserve nothing less!!! I'm so very proud to be the wife of a Blue Water Navy Vietnam Veteran.

Susan, always remember, Blue Water Navy members are here for you. Bill and I don't know what we would have done had we not found this great family of Veterans who understand what we are going through.

We are all in this together.

Take care!!
Cindy
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Re: Living with my Husband

Postby Latergator » Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:34 am

Speaking as a Blue Water Navy veteran, I oft times ask myself where would we be if we did not have these dedicated and gallant ladies who stand behind us. I have actually had the chance to talk with all the ladies who have posted here so far. They are very special! They are the ones responsible for keeping us going through this trying problem.

God bless our ladies!
Wally
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Re: Living with my Husband

Postby Bill Fryday » Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:56 pm

Thank you Wally for your kind words. I look at my wonderful husband and see the best reason to fight for him. His Honor as a Vietnam Veteran. Even after all the VA has done to him, he is still a very proud Navy Veteran of the Vietnam War. His service in the Navy is the reason our son is in the Navy today.

Bill and I along with the rest of you have dug in our heels. We will see the the day when Vietnam Navy Veterans claims are granted for Agent Orange disabilites.

All of you served our country with honor. We are proud of you and thank you for your service to our country!!!

Take care!
Cindy
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